A 'Cinq étoiles' (five stars) is what Mauriceo and Katia, from Rio de Janeiro, call a perfect spot for a break in a long day's walk. When we were companions on a couple of caminos, the search for the 5 étoiles was an eager (and sometimes desperate) occupation. Now, there are rules. A cinq étoiles provides shelter from the drenching rain and shade from the beating sun. It has a seat. Personally, I like one high enough so I can dangle my weary legs, like a kid on a high stool. It sometimes has a table on which to share bread, salami, goat cheese and fruit, but it is not an absolute requirement. A cinq étoiles MUST have a breathtaking view or, at the very least, chirpy birds, a burbling river nearby and no stinging insects hovering, ready to zoom in. Needless to say, a Cinq Etoiles is a rarity.
Looking for such a place, I followed the picnic table sign and left the State Highway, a grand name for the usual twisty two-lane road with passing lanes for slow vehicles (me). For the first time since my arrival on South Island, I could actually see the top of the mountains and was snatching awed glimpses of snow-covered summits while managing the bends. I was going to enjoy my houmous, crackers and apple in the Cinq Etoiles of the century and drink in the view.
Instead, I found a small helicopter business, offering at half-price a flight over glaciers north of the famous Franz Joseph glacier that grinds almost all the way down to sea level. I had previously discarded the helicopter option as being extortionate... The blue contraption was the size of a bumble bee... OK, I was going for it. To make sure that toy device could manage me, I had to be weighed, a traumatic moment. In the meantime, while the young pilot was waiting for another booking to make the flight worth his while, I was swatting away sand flies. If people tell you that these insects are active only at dawn and dusk, they're wrong. Finally, I threatened to demand a NZ $ 5 discount per bite and, laughing, the young pilot took me up in the bumblebee, the only customer, with unimpeded view of jaw-dropping chasms, of the deep blue of the cracked ice and of Mount Cook in the distance, the highest peak of the Southern Alps at 3700 metres. The Cinq Etoiles of the century, indeed, under the hazy sun.

So much more beauty was to follow that it almost hurt....a swim, later that day, in the silky waters of lake Rotokino, and, the next day, a dip in blue icy pools and a drive by the limpid expanse of lakes Wanaka and Hawea... It leaves a poignancy in my heart. I feel blessed, uplifted, filled with such tenderness, as if holding a sleeping newborn, the eyelashes curled over a perfect chubby cheek and wanting to hold it safe, oh so safe. May it not come to harm, oh please.

In that respect, and humans being so destructive, sand flies are a perfect deterrent. A small paragraph, here to show how right I was NOT to choose a camping van for my little tour. I imagined myself trying tail-gate cooking surrounded by a cloud of midge-like blood-sucking critters and buffeted by squalls of driving rain. This picture of hell is quite realistic as, a few days ago, while I was driving up the east coast towards Christchurch in drizzle and gloom, more severe weather was happening in the west: buckets of water fell, a bridge was torn away, roads got flooded and, as I write, the west coast road is still impassable.
No, seriously now: a lot of people use camper vans and love it. Otherwise there just wouldn't be so many of them on the roads.
Fjordland, the stunning and deeply indented south western corner of South island enjoys, if that's the word, 7 metres of rain per year, its steep slopes covered by temperate rainforest. I didn't know that, as, full of optimism, I left behind me the radiant sunshine of my mountain hostel and its paddock of deer to drive up and down the dizzying bends of the State Highway 94 and through a barely lit, drippy, single-lane tunnel hewn in rock. As I reached Milford Sound, I entered a ghostly world.
Some travellers I met in hostels told me (smugly) that, no, they had had perfect weather, thank you very much. Damn them.
It was actually phantasmagoric. Bottle green deep waters, dark looming shapes draped in clouds and waterfalls surging from hanging valleys. We were shown the fault line between the Pacific plate and the Tasman plate, the U-shaped valleys bearing the mark of 5 successive glaciers, seals fishing the rich waters. Once upon a time, they were almost hunted to extinction. It is, by the way, a seal hunter who discovered that fjord. Cook sailed past a couple of times and mistook it for a bay. It would have been a perfect deep shelter from swell and wind but he cared for his crew and tried to stay as far away from the jagged teeth of the west New Zealand coast. People working on the tours live on the fjord. They drink pure local water and produce their own electricity. Just to mention, South Island is 98% powered by hydroelectrics.

Further south, the landscape evokes Scotland with round hills cloaked in mist, lochs, salmon and trout fishing. Lanes, streets, creeks and bays bear names like Athol, Mc Pherson, Glen Nevis, Oban, Dalhousie, Lochie, O'Shanessy, Dublin, a testimony to the Scottish and Irish diaspora. Te Anau has a tartan festival. Towns are called Ross, Invercargill and Dunedin (the ancient name for Edinburgh). It is almost disorientating to spy the serrated edge of the southern Alps in the distance and the ubiquitous spiky flax flowers, much loved by the Tui birds. Maoris used the leaves to weave baskets and make ropes, careful to take only three of the outer ones to protect the plant. Not Scotland after all. Tui birds can mimic a variety of sounds. You're relaxing in the garden. The phone rings. You hurry inside. Nope... It was the Tui bird.
As my sightseeing motivations are reduced to zilch by an increasingly obliterating weather, the trip switches focus and offers a succession of beautiful and interesting encounters. I thread anecdotes, magical moments and life stories like beads on the ribbon of road that I follow back north.
John, in Invercargill, is out to buy sheep when I arrive and has left the key for me in the letterbox. He shows me the difference between normal sheep fleece and merino's. The latter's fibre is so thin, the wool so tight and soft.... Merinos are not good in New Zealand, he informs me. They don't like soggy ground but will eat anything. Australia, then. Merino Mink is made here with the addition of possum fur. Now, I read that there were 8 millions of them in New Zealand, a pest for the native wildlife, almost a compulsory road-kill. How in the world do they count them? 'Hey, possums, to attention now! Come out of the bush/forest and stand in line!' There are full-time possum hunters, John explains. They lay a blob of cyanide on the ground surrounded by cinnamon and curry paste. Possums are inquisitive. Attracted by the new smell, they breathe in the cyanide and are killed on the spot. All the hunters have to do is collect them.
Lucida is Canadian, Michael American. They live in Christchurch. I arrive in a shocked, grieving city. On a lamp post, in a suburban neighbouring, hearts have been stuck. A big one at the top bears the message: 'We choose love". In Akaroa, on the peninsula further east, a tribute of candles, balloons, flowers, messages, remains on the waterfront, limp in the rain. A modest, heartfelt hommage that brings tears to my eyes.
Lucida had a band in Canada. We sing together French folk songs and American oldies. She has a Gibson guitar that has a big wide sound, as if it was plugged in. Both her and Michael organise contacts for me in Indonesia and I suddenly have a room booked for two weeks in an eco-neighbourhood in Bali and one of their friends offering to welcome me in Kalimantan. Bless them, bless their warmth and welcome.

On the way to Akaroa, east of the city, Thea shows me around her food forest in the land that she has bought with her partner. When all is grown, it will be a foraging heaven and also a haven for insects and birds. I follow a gaggle of waddling ducks, admire the dome greenhouse and the care for nature, the inventiveness that have gone into the creation of their 'farmlet'. I marvel at the cosy yurt where Thea, an accomplished professional, practises soft-tissue massage. We swap treatments but I don't think she got such a good deal with my rusty Shiatsu. The tiny mobile home where I sleep, built in Christchurch, is a Cinq Etoiles condensed example of ingenuity.
There were close encounters of another kind. Kaikoura, north of Christchurch, has one particularity: close to the coast, a canyon plunges 1000 km into the depth, ideal for sperm whales, deep sea divers that they are. A timid sun throws an eerie light on the swell as we have 4 sightings of these leviathans, their huge tail disappearing
The next morning, I walk at low tide around the headland hoping to spot some seals and spy a group of youngsters, sleek and dark brown, playing in a rock pool. I approach and sit at a distance. Their little heads pop up, they watch me, curious, a bit alarmed, maybe. I don't budge, tell them how beautiful they are. Reassured, they start jumping and slicing the water, the pool fairly boiling with their antics. The harder I laugh, the more they somersault. Kids will be kids. They are showing off while their parents digest their Sunday meal nearby.

South Island, which welcomed me under the rain, shines like a jewel on my last 2 days, the more to make me sad to be sailing away. In Nelson, I have again the fun and pleasure to stay with Marcia, Brendyn and their children, Felim and Niamh. I am treated with French onion soup and breakfast pancakes and with another beautifully healing massage swap. Thank you, Marcia... On a balmy afternoon, I amble on Nelson beach, have a good swim and see much joy and laughter around me. Dogs running, catching sticks, friends chatting, children squealing, couples holding hands.
Australia has fires, New Zealand earthquakes. I thought Invercargill looked a bit run down. It's because half of the town will be destroyed to be rebuilt with better regulations, to prevent a repetition of the deaths and casualties of the 2011 Christchurch earthquake. Kaikoura was badly shaken two years ago and the tremor was felt all the way to Wellington. The road into and from Kaikoura is still being repaired and I spotted tsunami muster stations for road workers. Teams of traffic control employees in fluo jackets swivel their stop/go lollipops along the way. They wave and smile us through. Every time. Better than the Queen on a official visit. They must get repetitive strain injury.... This is Cinq Etoiles kindness on a Cinq Etoiles land.